bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
