So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you will always have a special place in my vag
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
