yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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