I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
