I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
