I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As shirtless as possible
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
