I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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