mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
