Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dicks are not precious.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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