Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
