I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
