I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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