do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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