he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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