How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
