Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize