It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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