Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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