you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
