he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
