all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize