I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm gonna have a badass scar
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
