I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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