Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
