North Korea, Best Korea!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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