i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
