I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
