they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
