Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I could make wine with my vomit
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
