That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
