Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
