I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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