just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
