a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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