You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
