i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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