508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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