Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
