At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
