He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
