I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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