So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
