oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
