Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
