Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
