..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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