I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
