K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You're like the curious george of whores
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
