So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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