Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
