Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
