it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
