he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize