that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
