Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
