just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
