it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
