I think i peed on brittanys purse
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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