If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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