i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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